Posts Tagged ‘relations’

What is a woman? Is she a mere body to harass? Is she a toy to play with? Is she somebody you can feel? Is she somebody to satisfy your sexual needs?

In our daily newspapers, rape rears its ugly façade almost every day.  Sometimes, it is a brutal rape and murder by a stranger, gang-rape of a girl by her acquaintances or in many cases rape of a girl by her own father or elderly relatives. It is shocking, amazing and ridiculous.

Where do the perpetrators get such courage and confidence from that they stop a running bus, pull out a woman and leave her by the roadside after raping her, that they trap a foreign diplomat and rape her in a car, that they catch hold of a college student and violate her atop a building even as heavy traffic passes by a few feet below?  How is it that a cop instead of protecting a young girl shuts her inside a police post and does the unthinkable?

The questioning of cops and lawyers put after a case is equivalent to raping them again. Not surprising that they prefer to seal their lips and kill their sense of dignity and honour. And I am not even talking about the numerous others subjected to molestation, groping, eve teasing and degrees of verbal and physical abuse – at the movie hall, in the bus, in crowded bylanes, markets, trains, almost everywhere.

It is more than surprising to witness this in every corner. I put up the question again, what do you think a woman is? Why isn’t she sought as an individual, equivalent or more powerful than a man, but as a mere toy for pleasure?

It is sure for hurdles to come on the feel and bumps to come between relationships.

If I sit here and categorize, the major problems that one comes across is:

-Communication

By communication I am here referring to both communication gap as well as day to day communications. Poor communication skills initiate a problem in any relationship. You can’t communicate while watching a sitcom, checking your BB, checking out pages online. In either of the above cases you seem least bothered in what you partner is talking and there she gets pissed.

-Money

This category of problem occurs mostly in people in live-in relations, or even amongst people whose relation is more money based. Usually one partner is a saver and one a spender, so here the conflict arises.

-Physical Intimacy

Even partners who love each other can be incompatible sexually. This might create issues, and it does. But common ‘you love her’, this shouldn’t make a difference. Sexual relationships problems can be solved by consulting a qualified therapist.

-Priorities

Priorities- this causes issues in every relation, from a two day relation to a happily married couple. It usually starts with questions like ‘who is that? How long have you been talking to her? Are her talks more important than mine?’  This usually happens when you spend less time with your partner and more with others, may be your friends or colleagues.

If you want your love life going, keep the focus on your relation. Relationships loose their luster very easily, so make yours a priority. Tell your partner how important she is in your life.

-Conflicts/ fights

Conflicts may arise from the smallest to the biggest think. Occasional conflicts are an inevitable part of a relation. But don’t let them increase. Clear them if they seem to rise.

-Trust

Trust is very important in a relation. Without this factor, called trust, your relation is going nowhere. Do you doubt your partner for something? Is there any behavior that is hindering your trust from your partner? Clear it out, talk to him. Trust me, a simple talk can clear a lot of problems.

How exactly would one define a relationship?  The condition or fact of being related; connection or association. In human, specifically a marriage, and in today’s generation words, ‘getting hooked up’.

Each relationship differs from every other. In short, the term relationship differs as to how one perceives the word and how he acts upon it.

A relation is not about you coming upto a girl/ boy and say I love you and then things go the way they were. Neither it is that you show  insane love to the girl for the first few months/ days, give promises and later it is none that you do, but all you do is ignore. No, this isn’t how it will work.

Trust me, 90% people talk to somebody to get into a relation, get to a level of physicality and leave her. Dude?  What? I thought you said you loved her. Is that how you display your love? Really? Probably, you never loved or I should say even liked her.

Most of the relations today are categorized as infatuations and not love. And agreed, they are infatuations. If I sit here to define love, it is eternal. It is divine. It is something that cannot be defined. How easy it is for somebody to say an I Love You. Its just a three letter word and it hardly takes a second. And how easily you buy it? A little drama from the other side, a few poetic lines, a few letters or mails, a fake display of I cannot live without you and there you go.

You float with the relation because the drama and the initial love showing and when you start feeling things going inept, you’d think ‘funny thing I never thought it would go this way.’

The most common reasons you’d get from the other sides and you’d be buying is I was too busy with work. What work, dude? Can’t you spare even a minute? Or probably there seems to be an issue with my phone. Oh really? Isn’t there anybody else having a phone near you? Or you have just one phone at place. Or the most common, I haven’t spoken to anybody else too. Oh yes! So did you say all that to me about love to everybody else too?

Another category of a relation is a long distance relation, which from my point of view doesn’t work in most cases. Talking out from my personal experiences and of others nearby, never even try to make it work. Just in case you are so determined to make it work, always have it planned. And make an assurance that the plan would work. Don’t make plans in the air, like we’d marry after xyz years. Or that we’d have a house here or all that crap. Trust me, it makes no sense. After few months he wouldn’t even bother about your health or whereabouts. Never buy things about long talked about promises. If he plans to do it, he wouldn’t really mention it 24*7. Most importantly, plan about the meetings. If he cannot meet you or you cannot meet him once a month or once in two months, no point. ‘Cause trust me, your relationship is going nowhere if he doesn’t feel like meeting you. If you remember he said you are the most important part of his life, for sure he said this at one point.

Relationship matters continues…