Posts Tagged ‘break up’

When a woman gets dumped, her life falls apart and she spends weeks crying on the shoulders of her sympathetic girlfriends. When a man gets dumped, he shrugs his shoulders, switches on the television, salutes his new-found freedom and downs a can of beer.

This is something we all think and hear, but NO, it isn’t true. Despite of the sex, both sit and weep.

All of you get into a relationship because you feel euphoric love for your partner. You love whatever your partner does. That love makes you feel very good. You experience great joy and feel special. All this changes over a period of time for some of you.

Some or the other day are relationship ends, then what? There starts the period of the ‘so called’ trying to get over. Here, 90 per cent of the people sit as if they have committed a crime of a lifetime. All gulped up, emo-like, tears falling, wondering what to do (not to get over but rather to get back).

It’s never easy when a significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split-and whether or not you wanted it-the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time.

While many of you may be at different stages dealing with the end of a relationship, the issues you face have a great deal in common. Usually there is shock and denial that your partner has ended the relationship. Nasty things like guilt, pain, despair, and self-loathing and depression after a break up can all seem to rear their ugly heads at the same time.

You know how it feels, one minute you think that both of you were made for each other and the next…dumped. Then you cry yourself out of existence, wishing you were prettier or sexier or something, right? Well, dry your tears and stop wasting time.

The first step is to heave that chip off your shoulder, get out of the laziness, get a makeover and stop spending your nights in front of the television watching stupid movies, sad songs or calling your friends for sympathy.

Take the time right after a break-up to examine your life. Get in touch with what’s really important to you. Often in a relationship, especially a long term relationship, our passions and goals get intermingled with those of our partner’s. Sometimes, we can even forget the things that we really love and enjoy.

How soon can you date after a break up? After you feel like you’ve taken enough time to gather your thoughts and emotions, don’t be afraid to get back into the scene- dating, going out or whatever that may be. It’s normal to feel the need for “alone time” right after a break up. Just be sure not to isolate yourself for too long. Try going out and meeting new people when you feel ready. By doing this, you’re not discounting your old relationship or ignoring the fact that you may need closure or time to heal; you’re simply starting the process of moving on.

You really don’t have to count time to date again. You don’t really have to sit in a corner, weep months long, thinking that your past relationship just ended. Go out, interact, see new people. Moreover, dating is healthy!

A person tends to become sensitive and prone to people close to him/her while recovering from a break up. A person you may talk to even 5 of 24 hours a day, may be the one you would easily fall for. The simple reason being he is sensitive to your feelings and is consoling you, hence you feel cared by the person. There isn’t anything wrong in it. Nothing to be scared of! Just beware, if it’s the right person before taking a decision.

Never plan to get back. Mind it, NEVER. This should be the last thing in your head, which actually in most cases-is the first. Think, if getting back was what it was meant to be, why did you break up in the first place? Once a relationship is broken, no matter what the reason was, there is no getting back. Even if you tend to get back, the relationship changes, it’s never the same. The changes that the break up created will always create more differences and hence lead to another split up which may be sorer.

To be continued…

p.s. No break-up is pleasant. But it doesn’t mean you stop living after a break-up.

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