Relationship Matters

Posted: July 6, 2011 in relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

How exactly would one define a relationship?  The condition or fact of being related; connection or association. In human, specifically a marriage, and in today’s generation words, ‘getting hooked up’.

Each relationship differs from every other. In short, the term relationship differs as to how one perceives the word and how he acts upon it.

A relation is not about you coming upto a girl/ boy and say I love you and then things go the way they were. Neither it is that you show  insane love to the girl for the first few months/ days, give promises and later it is none that you do, but all you do is ignore. No, this isn’t how it will work.

Trust me, 90% people talk to somebody to get into a relation, get to a level of physicality and leave her. Dude?  What? I thought you said you loved her. Is that how you display your love? Really? Probably, you never loved or I should say even liked her.

Most of the relations today are categorized as infatuations and not love. And agreed, they are infatuations. If I sit here to define love, it is eternal. It is divine. It is something that cannot be defined. How easy it is for somebody to say an I Love You. Its just a three letter word and it hardly takes a second. And how easily you buy it? A little drama from the other side, a few poetic lines, a few letters or mails, a fake display of I cannot live without you and there you go.

You float with the relation because the drama and the initial love showing and when you start feeling things going inept, you’d think ‘funny thing I never thought it would go this way.’

The most common reasons you’d get from the other sides and you’d be buying is I was too busy with work. What work, dude? Can’t you spare even a minute? Or probably there seems to be an issue with my phone. Oh really? Isn’t there anybody else having a phone near you? Or you have just one phone at place. Or the most common, I haven’t spoken to anybody else too. Oh yes! So did you say all that to me about love to everybody else too?

Another category of a relation is a long distance relation, which from my point of view doesn’t work in most cases. Talking out from my personal experiences and of others nearby, never even try to make it work. Just in case you are so determined to make it work, always have it planned. And make an assurance that the plan would work. Don’t make plans in the air, like we’d marry after xyz years. Or that we’d have a house here or all that crap. Trust me, it makes no sense. After few months he wouldn’t even bother about your health or whereabouts. Never buy things about long talked about promises. If he plans to do it, he wouldn’t really mention it 24*7. Most importantly, plan about the meetings. If he cannot meet you or you cannot meet him once a month or once in two months, no point. ‘Cause trust me, your relationship is going nowhere if he doesn’t feel like meeting you. If you remember he said you are the most important part of his life, for sure he said this at one point.

Relationship matters continues…

  1. Shanky says:

    nice one arushi….. shear truth and reality!!

  2. gokul says:

    Its interesting!!!
    The second last paragraph “The most common reasons…….” Its true……but i have a doubt..When will it be a problem? When will you say like this? What made you to say like this?

    All these excuses will be there in a relationship…I have only one doubt. When will they start telling this? Is it from the beginning onwards or in between a relationship

    When you are going to tell someone “I love you” are you showing your real personality/ character? Or is it just for making the other side convinced? For getting a positive response, people will try their best by all kind of persuasion and all other craps …their aim is ” Hey he/she told me I love u”

  3. Well, if i discuss all the questions above briefly, as per the 1st one, it becomes a problem if such excuses happen everyday, as in, if the person tends to repeat the same statement very frequently. The partner may say this, if he is no more interested in you/if he is losing interest/if he has found somebody more interesting/due to a personal reason he is facing.

    All these may not be in the beginning but somewhere in the middle, when the spice of the relation begins to fade.

    About the third, you cannot judge in advance if he is being real or fake. You might gradually realize it as and when you talk to a person. A personal piece of advise, never take a step in a hurry, give time. You are right, for a positive response people try their best, hence give time, giving time tends to get people back to their real self, and then judge if its that person you wish to be in a relationship with, because if he is being honest to you he is going to be the same.

    • Gokul Shaji says:

      Thatz true….is it because of d lack of proper time management? 😛

      Why is the relation fading? It will fade, when u are hiding the real “YOU” and showing/acting fake character to attract the person. What is the target here? A guy or a girl, so the opposite person will surely do all kinda acts to get him/her. Here buds the relationship and it will go on and after some time the real “YOU” will come out and the other person may not be able to adjust or YOU may not be interested

      Yes have to take time and then only decide whether the person is okie for YOU. I have seen only few people saying “I am like this….. always” This kinda person are good also. Exceptions are there. But still exceptions are not examples…….Last but not the least….What and Why dating?

      • Yes. ‘Lack of time’, i wouldn’t call it time management. When you are into somebody, there is nothing called time management, u spend quality time, be it on phone, physically, over a video chat or a normal chat, not quantity time. Even 5 mins a day of quality time can make a difference, trust me.

        A fade in the relation, as i previously mentioned, would be cause of lack of attraction/ interest.
        I agree to you, a person cannot be fake for long, there would be a time, sooner or later, when the real you would be portrayed, and of course that will affect the relation.

        Dating today has become a trend. There is hardly anybody you would see who would be single. I don’t understand the concept of staying with a guy for days or weeks or months and then split up. Everyone does that, but Dude, are they t-shirts that you are changing?

  4. Arjun Sharma says:

    this lack of time thing is used by almost everyone. i just dont get how people cant be soo busy that they cant even spare a minute to return a message or answer a phone call. it is all an act if u ask me. well written arushi.

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